We Had a Deal!

Everyone in New York has to deal with pigeons. I lived in the New York area for over 30 years and worked in Manhattan for about a decade. Were pigeons really that big of a problem? No. Occasionally a person is crapped on. So is the world. And so is everyday life in New York.

Now, it seems, New Yorkers will be dealing with a hyper-nannyistic councilperson who is going to disturb the way of the world. A $1000 fine for feeding the pigeons? If we’re handing our excessive penalties for victimless crimes, why not a 5-year term in Sing Sing? I can assure you, no one will ever feed the pigeons in NYC again.

Don’t feed the pigeons … or else. A new pigeon plan is in the works that includes the creation of — get this — a pigeon czar.

New York City is a smorgasbord for pigeons, but something could break that bread line.

“We hope people who are spending their time collecting old bread from bakeries to feed pigeons to poop on your head will stop,” Councilman Simcha Felder, D-Brooklyn, said.

A Pigeon Czar? We don’t have enough idiot Czars in this country?

The whole thing reminds me of the classic Seinfeld episode in which George runs over a obstinate pigeon:

JERRY: You ran over some pigeons? How many?

GEORGE: What ever they had. Miranda thinks I’m a butcher but it’s not my fault is it? Don’t we have a deal with the pigeons?

JERRY: Of course. We have a deal. They get out of the way of our cars, we look the other way on the statue defecation.

GEORGE: Right! And these pigeons broke the deal. I will not accept the blame for this.