What would Jesus do?

For starters, he’d enjoy only a half serving of eggnog and leave the cookies to the kids.

In England, Santa Claus is getting a workout because he’s setting a bad example for children. The corpulent quasi-religious symbol is just too fat. Far be it for me, as a non-believer, to wade into religious battles, but you know who was in really good shape? Jesus. Perhaps those plump English children should start celebrating Christmas with Jesus, they’d be slender — and righteous.

The traditional children’s hero, best known for feasting on mince pies left out on Christmas eve, has always sported a bulging midriff.

But shopping centre bosses are giving the well-wisher his marching orders - to the nearest gym - to tackle the increasing problem of obesity.

The revelation comes after a medical report earlier this month stated that by 2050 more than 50 per cent of Brits will be obese.