Keep it Off the Streets

Occasionally, a reader will quiz me about public nudity. Yes, it’s one of the lines I like to draw in the Nanny State. I support private nudist colonies or cordoned off areas for nude beaches — as both can be easily avoided by the public. I would support politically expressive nudity as a matter protected by the First Amendment. But that’s about it.

Besides the legal questions (and there have been great debates on the issue), theoretically, nudity is wonderful. On a personal level, though, the problem remains that those who bare all are typical the last people you’d like to see in the nude. Take this bozo hipster for example. He decided to wander around Times Square without clothing because he was having a bad day.

(As I wrote in a recent Denver Post column: “There are two inarguable truths about nudity. One: I am ashamed of my body. Two: Adults who seem most inclined to take their clothing off in public should be ashamed of theirs.”)

There are also questions that, um, arise, when it comes to public nudity: sexual arousal and the presence of children, for instance.  Nudity can be a true public nuisance. In the end though, even if public nudity were allowed, I suspect very few people would take the state up on the offer. We don’t wear clothing because we’re coerced by the state, we wear clothing because most of us would be embarrassed not to.